One cannot write on British drinking habits without a passing mention of the Spoons, as pubs from the J. D. Wetherspoon’s chain are colloquially know. I first became strangely enamoured with Spoons in the 1990s when, after working nights in the studio, I would head straight down to The Man in the Moon, Chalk Farm Road, a few doors away, for a much deserved breakfast ale or three at the regular price of one pound. It was inhabited, at that time of day, by solitary men, staring at the walls, who would not say a word. Perfect. This is just what I was after following a night of auditory battering.
Wetherspoon is not the largest pub chain in the UK, that goes to the Stonegate Pub Company, with almost 5,000, but it is certainly the most visible. To its detractors, Spoons are down market scruff houses for pensioners, benefit scroungers and general riff-raff, which sell cheap beer to the poor and needy. The regulars agree; that’s why we go there.
The nature of a good pub is influenced by the nature of the landlord and there, in Spoons, lies a problem. Each has a manager but he is mostly just a functionary under the direction of the company. This applies to many chain pubs. He contributes little to the atmosphere, none of his own character.; this is defined by the brand. The real governorship travels upwards, landing squarely on the desk of one Tim Martin. This could be possibly why Spoons just might be considered a bit soulless.
The slightest mention of Wetherspoon to some seems to be as divisive as that of Brexit, still a sensitive subject in the UK. and, seemingly, itself the root cause of this debate or, rather, the support given to it by the founder, Sir Tim Martin.
Last time I extolled my affection for Spoons, it was met with a torrent of fury and vitriol, making claims, often false, seemingly based on unsubstantiated internet tittle-tattle. Many of the detractors professed that they had, and never would, go to one. This, for any drinker in England, seems unlikely given their prevalence throughout the country. How can you judge without experience?
It seems limiting to base one’s opinion of a boozer on the ideology of the owner. It would seriously restrict one’s opportunities to overindulge if one enquired as to the politics of the landlord each time you entered a fresh public house. It could well endanger, too, your physical well-being in some of the rougher establishments of the on-sales trade.
Founder Martin, opened his first boozer, Martin’s Free House, in 1979, in an old Muswell Hill bookies. The company now boasts over 900, plus 56 hotels. Many Wetherspoons are, unconventionally, conversions of historic listed buildings including banks, churches, theatres, cinemas and even a former public swimming bath. Spoons are famous their carpets, the designs unique to each pub, inspired by its history, its name and the nature of the building. These are produced by Axminster Carpets, partially handmade on old fashioned looms and are subjects of two books, ‘Spoons Carpets’ and ‘Colour Your Own Spoons Carpet.’
Let us say Spoons are not best known for fine dining, but, like the beer, it is pretty cheap and decent. All main meals come with any drink of choice included. Never mind the quality, feel the width. The menu is, more or less, identical across the chain with some regional variations. It consists of classic pub fare, mostly fried, though at least calorific values for each are given, often frighteningly so. All the pubs open early in the morning, serving breakfast, coffee and old gits like me.
In addition to bar service there is an mobile app for customers to order food or drink, brought to them by entering an order, with the pub name and table number. This begat a Facebook group, ‘Wetherspoons The Game’, several in fact. Initially this was used by members to send drinks to strangers who would post their location alongside a selfie. This has now evolved, dispatching food to specified pubs for distribution to the homeless. Some might mock that this was half the chain’s customer base already. Don’t sneer. Cough up. Feed the poor and eat the rich.
In 1992, the company floated on the Stock Exchange, becoming JD Wetherspoon PLC. Employees, 42,208 of them at the last count, are annually given shares to encourage loyalty. These amount to roughly 18% of the total shares. Martin owns about 24%. I don’t own any but I’ll readily give Spoons my cash. Just don’t mention Brexit.